


Christmas Is A Fried Chicken Romance Holiday In Japan

by Coricus



Category: Splatoon, Super Smash Brothers
Genre: Christmas Crack, Christmas Fluff, Crack Relationships, Crack Treated Seriously, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Fluff and Humor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-27
Updated: 2017-12-16
Packaged: 2019-02-07 13:27:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,687
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12842151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Coricus/pseuds/Coricus
Summary: Pinkling, Inklit, KidxSquid, InkQuillShipping. No one asked for it, but like socks under the Christmas tree, you're still getting it! The first official Pit/Inkling holiday shipfic, mailed and delivered to your doorstep! As fluffy as your winter coat.Pit's never really had someone he feels quite understands him before. But as the holiday festivities go on, maybe someone can do a squiddle bit to help him feel less alone. Or some sappy Crust Bucket leftovers like that.





	1. But is Cocoa Safe?

"You won't hurt yourself drinking that, will you?" He said nervously.

She glanced up and smiled, stirring the mug of hot cocoa with a candy cane. The steam seemed to make her cheek melt ever so slightly as it brushed against it, or perhaps she was just glistening in the light. The fireside certainly cast an intriguing reflection on the slippery surface of her tentacles, although her face had always looked pretty normal other than the eye mask.

"Don't worry so much, Pit, I'm fine as long as I don't overdo it." She said. "Even if too much water causes me to melt, ink is still made up of it partially. If I don't get at least a little liquid sometimes, I'll dry out. It's weird, isn't it?"

"No, it's fine, it's fine! Nothing's weird!" Pit said, blushing.

His soft, fluffy white feathers bristled as he shuffled awkwardly. His own cup of hot cocoa bore several rings of cocoa residue on the inside, having already been refilled greedily several times during the sitting. Likewise the candy cane box was all but empty, several wrappers strewn around his end of the table. The fireplace glittered off of the bits of gold he wore, making them almost look like the world's most precious Christmas decorations.

She blew on the surface of her cocoa to cool it off, jagged beak glinting out ever so slightly. Pit watched anxiously as she took another sip of the chocolatey drink, trying to be certain she would be alright. He sighed in relief as she set the mug down, wiping a bit of cocoa off of her face with her hand.

"See? I'm fine. You worry too much!" She said, grinning. "It's just a little cocoa. As long as I don't go for a swim I'll be alright."

Pit nodded. His legs swung under the table ever so slightly as he began to break eye contact.

"You know. . ." He began.

She turned her head up to look at him. He seemed concerned about something all of a sudden. It was a weird look on him, really, he was usually so off the walls happy. If he was acting like this, it must be something serious.

"What's wrong?" She asked, anxious chirp breaking ever so slightly through the translation glamour.

"It's just. . .do you ever feel weird about that? About being a squid that can't swim in water?" Pit asked.

She paused for a moment and glanced down at her drink.

". . .Oh." She said.

Pit panicked as he noticed the sparkle go out of her eyes a bit. Admittedly he hadn't thought through what it might actually be like bringing this up. He of all people more than anyone else didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings with this kind of conversation. 

"N-no, I didn't mean to- this isn't any kind of insult, I swear! And I-I mean, I don't want to bring up any kind of bad feelings or anything. I just. . .wondered." Pit said.

She looked at him, noticing the discomfort in his eyes. For a moment she wondered if he was simply being his insensitive self again. Just yesterday he'd tried to explain to Marth something he already knew because Marth was "just a human." And yet. . .she couldn't help noticing him making more eye contact with his own wings than with her at this point. His mind seemed elsewhere.

"Well. . .Sometimes, I guess." She said. "I mean, for the most part it doesn't really effect me, but every once in a while I see jellyfish out swimming and wonder what it'd be like to do it myself. But if I stick my hand in the water, it starts drifting apart and it's all I can do to keep it together. And then sometimes. . ." She trailed off.

"Sometimes what?" Pit asked.

"Sometimes I just look out at the ocean and it. . .I dunno, it feels like home for some reason. I wonder what it must be like to be down there, swimming in the water my ancestors did long ago. Like it's where I'm meant to be. But at the same time. . .it's a place Inklings can never go again. I just feel this odd sense of loss and melancholy about it, like a small part of me is missing. Just this feeling of being a fish out of water. Or cephalopod, really. Do you ever feel anything like that? Like there's something that deep down inside, in your deepest instincts, you wish you could do more than anything but just can't?" She asked.

Pit stayed oddly quiet about it for a long time. He seemed to be struggling to bring himself to speak. She'd never seen him anything like this. For a moment she just stared, trying to register why he was reacting like this. Then it all clicked.

". . .This is about your wings, isn't it?" She said.

"I just wanted to know if anyone else felt the way I did. Like something was just wrong about it all. . ." He confessed.

"Pit. . ." She said.

"You won't. . .you won't make fun of me for any of this, will you?" Pit asked.

"What? Of course not!" She said, slapping her hands down onto the table in shock.

"People. . .a lot of people make fun of me for my wings not working back at home. I always kinda brush it off, but. . .I don't know, I think it gets to me a bit. Everyone here asks me why I can't fly if I'm an angel, and I just. . .I don't have an answer. I just. . .I feel like I'm broken."" Pit said.

Her eyes quivered slightly as she noticed his voice crack slightlly at the last word. She quickly reached her hands across the table to grab his, looking him straight in the eyes.

"Pit. . .you're not broken, OK?" She said. "You've managed to save the world from things scarier than I could ever even imagine. You're the best sharpshooter I've ever met, you pick up new weapons like they're nothing and you've got reflexes so good I could hardly dream of keeping up. And more than that, well, you care about people. Back at Inkopolis we've got all kinds of people in all shapes and sizes. The only time anyone thinks someone there is broken is when they don't have the heart to get along with anyone else. If no one there is broken no matter how different they are, then well, you aren't either."

"Well. . .Thanks, I guess." Pit said. "I've never really had anyone say that about me." Pit said.

"Well then, you've got kinda carp friends." She said flatly.

"Don't say that, they're. . .they're nice people. They just don't. . .express themselves that often." Pit said.

"Well, even if they won't, I will." She said. "If no one else will come out and say it, then I'll be the first: I care about you."

"Aw, that's really sweet of you!" Pit said.

She smiled in relief as a genuine grin of happiness flashed across his face once again. All the concerns of the past conversation seemed to melt off of him at once, defrosting an iceberg no hearth or cocoa could hope to touch. He was a simple kid, really. He just needed a compliment from someone once in a while to keep him happy. But it was clear he didn't get reassured on the important things in life very often.

The two of them suddenly heard the sound of a quill scratching against paper. Looking up from the table, they saw Robin standing a few yards away, cradling an inkwell and one of Pit's shed feathers in one hand and a notebook in the other. Robin glanced up at the two of them for a moment, then glanced back down and scribbled down another set of notes.

"Hmm. . .I think I'll put that under C-Rank." Robin said.

Pit ducked his head down and blushed like wild.


	2. The Meaning of Christmas (To Some)

"You know, Lady Palutena always insists kinda hard that Christmas is a secular holiday." Pit said, glancing in concern at the holiday lights tangled around his wings.

His squiddy friend was busy attempting to pull the strand off, clammy hands buried in fluffy feathers as they tried to wiggle the wire down without digging the bulbs into him. Like most things, Christmas tree decoration had not gone as planned. To her surprise, she found that despite the disuse his wings were quite firm and muscular under the fluff. He must exercise them constantly in the hopes of being able to fly.

Robin sat on the couch a few feet away, casting a relaxed glance from underneath the pages of a dusty old tactical book. Important excerpts had been bookmarked in scattered places by various copies of Sun Tsu's The Art Of War printed onto thin paper. Pit normally had to duck underneath questions about books, but between the translation system not being able to keep up with translating text in a way squids could understand and Robin's favorite books typically being almost maddeningly stuffy, he felt a bit more relaxed around the musty old hunk of pages than most. Sometimes Robin read off bits and he got a bit of a headache, though. But with his squiddy friend wincing next to him during those moments, it at least reassured him that it wasn't because he was dumb.

"Ah. I suppose she wouldn't take too well to the typical origins." Robin said. "Neither the ancient local festivals nor the more current absorption of the concepts into modern religious rituals are particularly helpful to her reputation. Libra has deliberately refrained from participating in any of the holiday's events over similar concerns in the name of Naga, however, according to Tiki the sentiment from Naga herself is that we simply enjoy whatever local festivities we wish without concern for her sake."

"Gee, Naga seems pretty hands off." Pit said, craning his neck over his shoulder as the woomy yanked at the lights again.

"Not that it's particularly common knowledge, but Naga doesn't actually consider herself a goddess as her followers do, merely a guardian of humanity." Robin said. "It's just. . .rather easy to mistake an elder dragon for such at times. Often there seems little to separate such immense power from the divine."

"Except for being a giant lizard, right?" Pit chirped.

"It'd be more accurate to call yourself an oversized rooster." Robin said, facepalming. "Naga has watched over the world longer than humanity has existed, wielding power that though since waned could have wiped out entire continents in it's prime. Reducing her to such a childish summary is almost ludicrous regardless of what she considers herself."

"So she's the world's coolest grandma giant lizard?" The woomy chimed in.

Robin started to utter a response, but stopped it before it could leave their tongue. As the angel and stange squid-child continued to struggle with the tangle of decorations, it was important to consider that neither of them were particularly mature. Such thoughtless responses were simply natural for the two of them, especially considering their respective. . .social groups.

"So. . .that aside. . ." Robin said awkwardly. "What is religion like in your world, miss. . .er. . .I don't believe you ever told me your name?"

The Inkling at last managed to yank the string of lights off of Pit's wings, collapsing butt-first onto the ground in a puff of shed feathers. Pit yelped at the sudden scraping jolt, then immediately turned around to check if the squid was OK. The squid smiled a wide beaky grin as he extended his hand to her. Gently yet firmly he helped her up, the squid locking eyes with him for a moment that felt far longer than it was before turning to answer Robin.

"In Inkopolis most folks worship Kami-san." The squid said, ignoring the other question Robin had asked. "Kami-san has sent our people messages from on high since the beginning times, that we may determine in sacred battle the best path in life."

"Isn't that thing just an old printer running off of a backup generator?" Pit said.

"Nnnnnnn. . .maybe." The squid said, blushing. "Most people think it's impossible for any technology to have existed prior to squivilization rising from the seas, but between some weird documents the Squidbeak Splatoon hung on to and how surprisingly inktelligent the humans here are, it's plaaauuuusible it could be some kind of relic of some sort of human civilization prior to mammals going extinct."

"Yeah, about that." Pit said. "Are you. . .sure humanity is really extinct in your world?"

"Well no one's ever seen a live one before." The squid said. "Although we do have a lot of movies about finding a lost jungle island of mammals out in uncharted waters. Or deep underground. Or in space. Why?"

"It's just. . .I know humanity can be pretty weak sometimes, and often kinda dumb. . .but they gotta be more resilient than that! Humans are known for being able to survive any situation thrown at them, no matter how dire. Not individually, of course, but as a whole. It's part of why people even bother with them. I find it hard to believe that whatever happened in your world would bring them all to just keel over and die." Pit said.

Robin rolled their eyes at the assertions but stayed silent, simply choosing to hang a couple bulbs on the Christmas tree instead. The cephalopod on the other hand focused on the conversation intently, swinging a loop of lights back and forth in one hand.

"You really think humanity has that much going for them?" The squid asked.

"Of course! Palutena wouldn't have decided to watch over them otherwise. Let me think of how she put it. . .'They've got a lot of flaws, but at the end of the day there's enough goodness and potential deep down in their hearts to be worth it.' I mean, I never really noticed what seems to be so wrong with humans when I've met them -except Link because he's a jerk,- but they definitely do seem to have a lot of fight in them if nothing else. A monster is pretty understandable to fall to, but even a human shouldn't have a problem with just a little bit of an environment change. You'd think they'd go all Waterworld or something, or make a moon base."

"Really? Huh. I figured those internal skeletons just made them too sluggish and weak for their body shape and they couldn't run away from the tides in time." The woomy said. "Those skulls don't really look like they've got enough brain for that."

"I'm right here, you know." Robin muttered, wrapping a strand of golden garland around the dark green branches of the Christmas tree. "If you two are going to discuss humans, perhaps it would be better to actually get to know some instead of comparing each other's bizarre echo chambers."

The angel and squid stared blankly at Robin. The tactician looked back incredulously at the confused expressions on their faces, wondering how the two of them could possibly be this thick.

"So. . .where could we go to meet some humans, then?" Pit asked.

"Oh for the love of- outside, Pit. Outside." Robin said, pointing out the window.

The two glanced outside at the icy paved roadway winding into the distance. The snow had made a thick layer of floofy whiteness on the ground. Charizard had attempted to be helpful by melting it off of the road, but instead it had frozen to ice and Cloud was busy irritably picking away at it with a snow shovel as his motorcycle sat in the driveway.

"So you think we should go out somewhere. . .?" The squid asked.

"Yes. Yes I think you should go out somewhere. Both of you. Together." Robin said. "It's the height of holiday shopping season, I'm sure you'll find something to do. You can see that humans can be just as culture-obsessed and materialistic as Inklings are, and Pit will see. . .anything that isn't people throwing themselves on their knees giving offerings. Just go out and get some fresh air."

"Well I guess that might be a good idea. . ." Pit said.

Going out for some Christmas festivities certainly did sound fun. And for that matter, neither of the two had done their holiday shopping. Pit figured it probably was the right idea to go out for a day trip with all that going for it. The Inkling next to him smiled and held out her hand. Awkwardly he began to reach out to grab it.

"So let's make it a date then?" Inkling asked, winking.

Pit yanked his hand back and crumpled it against his side in embarrassment, blushing beet red.


	3. Squiddy It's Cold Outside

Pit shivered as he walked down the sidewalk, futilely trying to pull his toga down over his exposed legs. The holiday lights of the town square glinted prettily over his steel-cold arm bands, visibly moving back and forth as he shivered out of control. His nose had reached a deep red at this point, teeth chattering wildly. His toes in particular were practically crawling backwards into his sandals, the angel nearly sprinting every time he came into contact with snow. His cephalopod partner walked next to him sympathetically, holding out her thick winter jacket as an offering.

"I told you that you should have changed into winter clothes." She said.

Pit cast a pained yet resistant glance towards here, eyes squinting from the cold. His breath made wobbling clouds at every shivering breath he took. Even so, his arms simply dug deeper into the folds of his toga as he shook his head.

"I'm sorry, I can't." He said. "I have to stay in uniform whenever possible. I could be on duty at a moment's notice, winter clothes would mess with my agility. Besides, how professional would I look wearing some silly poofy outfit like that?"

"How silly do you look as a guy pulling down a dress who looks like he's on the verge of having his nose run?" Squid said.

Pit pouted and avoided eye contact a moment. It wasn't his fault he couldn't handle the elements all that well, but at the same time he valued his position as captain of Palutena's personal guard more than anything. And, well, he was too lazy to ever actually change into anything else most of the time. He knew Inkling was trying to be nice suggesting he keep warm, but he was simply too proud of his favorite outfit to take that advice.

". . .Well we should at least go into a store to warm up, then." Squid said. "I don't want you ending up with pneumolluscnia, or whatever it is angels can catch out in the cold this time of year. Freezing your toes off like that is making me feel secondhand freezing."

The Inkling pushed open the nearest store door, a cluster of little jingly bells ringing as it swung open. She reclined backwards on the inside of the door and motioned for the angel to walk inside, Pit hurriedly obliging. Sure he wasn't taking his uniform off, but admittedly he was cold. Very, very cold.

The smell of peppermint and gingerbread met his nose as he walked inside. Cans and wrappers and glass cases full of cookies and sweet treats were everywhere, causing the angel's eyes to light up in joy. If he was going to warm up somewhere, a candy store was certainly an amazing place to do it. He was almost kicking himself for not paying attention to the store windows as it was, but then again he'd just been too cold to notice.

"Good afternoon and welcome to, um. . ." The store clerk trailed off.

The person behind the counter seemed a bit taken aback by the pair for some reason. Come to think of it, Smashers didn't usually show up on the old side of town. The pizza joint nearest to the mansion had been almost apathetic by the time Pit had first showed up due to the sheer number of times everyone else had already ordered there, but the clerks of these more homey stores wouldn't have had time to get to know everyone. If it'd been a professional situation Pit might have made a proper introduction, but since he and his Inkling friend were just shopping casually he figured it'd be better to simply ignore the elephant in the room entirely.

"Are there any free samples here? I know candy stores have those a lot, and all the stuff here smells really good!" Pit said.

The clerk simply gawked as they motioned towards a couple of paper bowls with plastic spoons in them set on a counter nearby. Pit jogged over happily, picking up one of each of the various spiced nuts, jelly beans, and chocolate covered treats. The clerk seemed rather out of it as they watched Pit excitely dig into each sample, only snapping back to reality when the squid loudly set a box down on the counter next to the register.

"Is this pocky?" The squid said dead seriously, making direct eye contact.

"Yeah. . .?" The clerk said, looking a bit unconfortable.

The squid sat multiple other candies and several dollar bills onto the counter with the air of a person exchanging a briefcase full of money for some kind of contraband. The clerk pulled the money back slowly, eyes wide as the Inkling leaned so intently over the counter that their tentacles began to ooze slightly. The clerk hastily printed out the receipt and handed the Inkling her bag gingerly, trying with some difficulty to not have too nervous of an expression.

"Hey, Pit! I got the goods!" Inkling said loudly.

Pit jogged over, mouth full of samples as he peered into the bag of loot. Both kids rifled through everything excitedly as they discussed the respecitve merits of each kind of sweets. The clerk simply looked on blankly, beyond any ability to register what exactly they were watching.

"Hey, I think we've got a pretty good amount of stuff here!" Pit said. "Want to go check out what kind of place they have next door?"

"Won't that mean you have to go back outside dressed in that?" Squid asked.

The smile dropped off of Pit's face for a moment, his wings almost shivering just at the thought. In truth he hadn't even been in here long enough to warm up, the thought of candy just made him excited. Ever the quick thinker, though, his furrowed brow quickly turned from an expression of worry to one of determination.

"We run." Pit said.

With that he suddenly broke into a sprint, the store door bursting over as he bolted out. Inkling broke after him an instant later, attempting to catch up as she kicked up a flurry of road salt.

"Cold cold cold cold cold cold cold!" Pit said as he yanked open the door to the nearest adjacent shop. 

The electronic doorbell ding-donged as he dashed in, this store mercifully being warmer than the last as compensation for his additional exposure to the cold. Inkling walked in behind him, wiping her feet on the welcome mat as she did.

A Christmas carol tinnily rang out from some distant intercom as the two walked in. Aisles of Christmas decorations stretched as far as the eye could see. . .or at least to the back of the store. Garlands and light strands and wreaths, an entire forest of plastic Christmas trees adorning the center of the shop. There was even several model towns with a little train set weaving between them set up at the front of the store. This place surely had to be a holiday pop-up shop of some kind, although certainly not an unwelcome one. The smell of incense stung the nose just a bit, although after countless trips to Flo's hat shop Inkling was a bit used to being nasally assaulted by that particular breed of bizarre scent.

"Hi, welcome to Kringle's Jingles!" Said the clerk for this store, eyes a bit wide but mouth cemented into a professional grin.

"Hiya!" Pit said, taking the cookie cutter greeting a bit seriously.

Inkling dragged him down an aisle by the arm as he waved happily at the mildly befuddled clerk. He gave a confused clance at the squid, who simply rolled her eyes in response. The two of them thus out of sight of anyone but themselves, they looked onward down the rows of decorations that extended before them. Pit looked at each one with a particular curiosity, trying to get a good idea what was in each one from the pictures on the boxes. From the looks of it, this appeared to be a wall full of bundles of fake plants for things like hanging up or putting over a fireplace.

"You know, I really need to remember the names of all of these." Pit said. "I keep forgetting to ask what any of them are called. Viridi knows all this stuff for sure, plants are her thing. It's a bit embarrassing to ask her, though. . .and at times kind of scary."

Pit walked slowly, pointing at each plant as he went.

"Let's see. . .this one's the kind that's just like a Christmas tree, this one's the one with the really bright berries, this one's just a bunch of vines, and this one, um. . ."

Pit squinted as he tried to identify the next plant in front of him. He already barely had any idea what he was doing, but in particular he was lost here. Focused intently on holiday plant identification, he walked up closer until he was practically standing underneath the bundle. This one was several of them set on a hanger, just tiny little bundles of plants in the middle of the near forest of bigger ones.

"Hey squid, do you know what kind of plant this i-" Pit started.

He stuned around to see Inkling standing behind him with a mischievous grin on her face, a stick of pocky sticking very deliberately out of her mouth. Pit blushed as he suddenly remembered what kind of plant usually comes in tiny little bundles, but by that time it was too late. He tripped backwards against the metal wall in shock, only digging the hole he'd gotten himself into deeper. Inkling slammed her hands around Pit at each side and leaned forward, stopping and waiting just far enough away to give him a free choice whether he wanted to refuse or accept the gesture.

Pit stared a bit in shock. This was really crazy, what was she thinking?! They were in public, in the middle of a store, that they probably shouldn't even have food in. What would anyone think if they walked into the aisle right now?! But at the same time, Inkling was really cute. . .and the pocky looked really good. . .

Without thinking, he suddenly bent over and bit off the half of the pocky that was sticking out, lightly touching lips with the Inkling. Mission completed, he almost instantly pulled back in embarrassment, slamming his laurel crown against the metal wall with a loud clang. His head began to throb a bit from how hard he hit it, and he slid awkwardly into asitting position atop some wreathes as he held it. Inkling bent down in worry, rapidly chattering a borderline incoherent apology. It was at this point that another customer walked into the aisle, walking over briskly when they realized he was hurt.

"Oh my gosh! Are you alright?" They said, setting down their purse.

"Yeah, I'm. . .ngh. . .fine." Pit said, rubbing the sore spot with his hand.

"What exactly happened here?" Asked the bystander, sounding worried.

Pit and Inkling exchanged an extremely awkward glance. Pit's feathers were almost standing on end from embarrassment at this point. Inkling made a zipping motion across their lips from a position the concerned shopper couldn't see, grinning sheepishly. Pits eyes glanced over a quiet thank you to her as he spoke to the shopper.

"I just. . .went to look at some decorations too close and accidentally fell over." Pit answered.


End file.
